Are You Brave?
“You are so brave,” said another parent in the stairwell of my son’s elementary school. Noting my bewildered look, she clarified it was brave that I did not color my grey hair. Stunned to hear this. Frankly, it's not a deliberate defiant act but rather a gradual evolution that started in my late teens. Certainly not brave. Lazy, perhaps? Having no real aversion to grey, I never considered covering it. The maintenance would have disqualified it if I had.
I don’t think much about age, or aging, really (the youngest in my family, the “baby”). But when I do, it tends to lean positive - the wisdom and perspective, the self-knowledge, the “character” from bumps and dents. Proof of a life engaged! Nowadays, I’ve actually grown fond of my grey do. It’s pure me and I’m good with that. Dare I say, it’s part of my signature look? I encourage everyone to land on one and own it, at any age.
“Be yourself. Everyone else is taken” - Oscar Wilde
Also, because he nails words, “You don’t need fashion designers... Have faith in your own bad taste” – John Waters
Speaking of brave…
While we’re here, let’s talk about moms. Moms are the bravest of humans. Armed and ready to move mountains for their families. My mom was fiercest person I have ever known, all 4'10” of her. Her sheer will could be intimidating. She toiled and supported her family through 2 civil wars and 3 resettlements. She didn’t overthink things, just did what needed doing. I don’t believe she ever gave a thought to equity or fairness. Who's got time for that? She kept us alive and made us feel powerful. Friends describe her as amazingly capable and resourceful while being the most charming and chic woman in a room. She could be difficult (who isn’t) and drove people nuts (that will thing), which made her fantastically imperfect. I think she may have inspired the word unapologetic.
For all they are, every day is mother’s day, but handy to have the annual May reminder!